Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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