I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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