My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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