yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
