I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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