hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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