Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
