you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
