Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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