I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
