Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
