): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
