if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
