I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
