You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize