Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
