I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
