whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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