I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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