i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
