Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
