My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
