tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize