Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You took a bar mat shot.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
