I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
