very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
