I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
