I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
