We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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