im six kinds of drunk right now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
