He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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