is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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