We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
