I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize