OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
