Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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