Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
