Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
