i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
