So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
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I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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