So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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