P.S. I can't hear my feet
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
