we made out on top of his cat.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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