I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
