The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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