Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

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  (215): i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history. http://tfl.nu/28mn
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  (315): View more from New York

  can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet

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  (315): can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet http://tfl.nu/ofc9
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style

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  (614): she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style http://tfl.nu/squ6
  Replies (23) Good night (6639) Bad night (1258) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...

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  (512): Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not... http://tfl.nu/1rqn
  Replies (36) Good night (766) Bad night (6990) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.

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  (281): I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas. http://tfl.nu/8z68
  Replies (10) Good night (2854) Bad night (1817) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.

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  (310): So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked. http://tfl.nu/t6e6
  Replies (7) Good night (565) Bad night (1574) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.

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  (303): My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume. http://tfl.nu/bk4q
  Replies (8) Good night (2616) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table

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  (778): nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table http://tfl.nu/3lt3
  Replies (8) Good night (1582) Bad night (1139)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.

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  (250): Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame. http://tfl.nu/gc6a
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?

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  (541): bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me? http://tfl.nu/wm16
  Replies (27) Good night (570) Bad night (2930) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.

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  (480): I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other. http://tfl.nu/zykp
  Replies (12) Good night (1005) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN

  (1-626): View more from California

  we're fated to lesbian

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  (626): AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN (1-626): we're fated to lesbian http://tfl.nu/bohp
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?

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  (225): Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me? http://tfl.nu/lu4d
  Replies (13) Good night (1081) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.

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  (541): If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him. http://tfl.nu/336d
  Replies (9) Good night (529) Bad night (624)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.

  (586): View more from Michigan

  ...how and why.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  PARENTS ARE MAGIC.

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  (248): I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS. (586): ...how and why. (248): PARENTS ARE MAGIC. http://tfl.nu/swgi
  Replies (7) Good night (696) Bad night (271)

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