"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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