he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
