Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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