P.S. I can't hear my feet
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize