The maid of honor just puked.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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