The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
