I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
