I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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