I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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