U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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