Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
