Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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