why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
