is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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