whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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